Dear Coleen
I’m a woman in my twenties who has recently started dating a new partner.
While he is attractive and engaging, his high level of enthusiasm is overwhelming me. I am unaccustomed to such intense attention, especially at the beginning of a relationship.
In the past, I have often found myself uncertain about the interest level of the men I dated.
So far, we have spent a weekend away together, I have met his colleagues for drinks, his family including his parents, sister, and even his pet dog, and he frequently communicates with me via text messages.
I am unsure if I am overanalyzing the situation or being unappreciative. While my friends have a positive opinion of him based on brief encounters, I feel conflicted.
I am torn between suggesting a more relaxed approach to our relationship to have personal space for introspection. I am hesitant to hurt him as there is a possibility that he could be the right match for me. Should I view this as a warning sign or be more receptive to romance?
Coleen advises
It appears that a lot has transpired within a short period, leading to the intensity of your feelings. However, there is no need to hastily terminate the relationship; rather, communicate your sentiments and observe his reaction. If he demonstrates maturity by granting you space, it bodes well for the relationship. Simply express your enjoyment of his company while explaining the need for a slower pace due to your unfamiliarity with such eagerness.
If you envision a future with him and harbor genuine feelings, do not shy away from honest conversations. Establish a foundation of openness and sincerity from the outset.
Maintaining a degree of longing and preserving the element of flirtation can enhance the relationship. It is vital to value each other and avoid complacency, striving to maintain a vibrant connection.
Regarding past relationships, perhaps the avoidance of commitment exhibited by former partners raises more concerns than the current partner’s evident interest in a serious and committed relationship?
If you feel overwhelmed, consider spacing out activities and slowing down the pace; it does not have to be an all-or-nothing approach.
She brought her candid opinions to Loose Women and now serves as Britain’s most straightforward advice columnist, offering guidance on matters of relationships, sex, and life challenges.
EMAIL: dearcoleen@mirror.co.uk – apologies, personal replies are not possible.
WRITE TO: Coleen Nolan, The Daily Mirror, One